"Promise" by Matchbook Romance

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go,
Promise me...
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
Make this last forever

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you

Promise by Matchbook Romance

What would YOU do in a mall for 6 hours???

Well, I would have to say yesterday was fun, interesting, exciting, and all those words you use to describe a day you will never forget. The day actually started earlier that week, because earlier is when i broke up with Lindsey. Shock?? Maybe. Actually, Friday (the 18th) is when I sent her the message, but she didn't get it until monday. I can't explain how it made me feel to do that. I didn't want to, but I felt like it needed to be done. And now that it's over, I don't really know what to think about it. Maybe it's been over for a while and I just haven't seen it. Maybe it's still not over yet. It's impossible for me to tell at this point, but back to the other story. Wednesday we didn't have school so Daddy let me go to work with him for a while and then at 10 o'clock he took me to the mall to meet Josh and we hung out until 4. We walked around the mall, sat on the bed in JC Penny's for about an hour, and "watched" Pride and the Prejudice. Josh has never kissed anyone....until yesterday! That's right. I was his first kiss. And technically, I had to kiss him. I don't think he's nervous anymore. So, we don't go out (go together) yet, but I have a feeling we will pretty soon. Saturday is our first basketball game at church. I might get to go to his house for a while if my dad will let me. I really like him. He is actually the first guy that I have ever really liked. We had a little while where we didn't talk to each other(mostly my fault). But he really is my best friend. (excluding Julia who is my best girl friend) And I think he likes me too. Maybe all the bad things that happen in peoples lives are just leading up to moments like these. Maybe these are the moments we are supposed to live for.

"Give 'em Hell Kid" by My Chemical Romance

Oh baby here comes the sound!
I took a train outta New Orleans and they shot me full of ephedrine.
This is how we like to do it in the murder scene.
Can we settle up the score?

If you were here I'd never have a fear.
So go on live your life.
But I miss you more than I did yesterday.

You're beautiful
Well I'm a total wreck and almost every day.
Like the firing squad or the mess you made.
Well don't I look pretty walking down the street.
In the best damn dress I own?

If you were here I'd never have a fear.
So go on live your life.
But I miss you more than I did yesterday.
You're so far away.
So c'mon show me how.
'Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.

Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say
We are young and we don't care.
Your dreams and your hopeless hair.
We never wanted it to be this way.
For all our lives.
Do you care at all?

If you were here I'd never have a fear.
So go on live your life.
But I miss you more than I did yesterday.
You're so far away.
So c'mon show me how.'
Cause I mean this more than words can ever say.

(Won't you tell me?)
(Well, there's no way I'm kissing that guy)

Open Relationship...Then What???

Well, it's been quite a while since I've had a chance to even think about writing anything on here anymore. With school, and it being near the holidays, and basketball starting, and other things at church I've had no time to write anything from letters to blogs. I'm not sure exactly where I left off so what I've decided to do for this blog is pick a spot and role with it, and from what I rememeber things started getting interesting the day Kaycee made me break up with Josh for her. Kaycee was upset. Josh wasn't. That's pretty much all for that part of the story. But, their is another part.
See, Josh and I have known each other for over a year. He really is one of my best friends. And he TELLS me I'm his best friend. Coming from just anyone, I wouldn't take that too seriously, but Josh doesn't say things like that unless he means them. Well, after they broke up, Josh and I figured it wouldn't matter if we started talking because we wouldn't have to worry about Kaycee. So we started talking. I REALLY missed Josh. Well, he started being super sweet. I forgot to mention this, but Josh and I have been "together" before. It was me 1st, then my friend Custie, then Kaycee, and now we're "talking" again. (I guess I can call it that.) Well here are some examples of the sweet things Josh and I have talked about. (Some aren't really sweet, just...somethings I would not expect him to say without having thought about them before...which makes it sweet.) :
I think the best way to start off is with this...which is exactly what he said word for word...I asked him too describe me and he said "There's too many good things to name". Then I told him, Okay, pick the top three. Of course, he wasn't wanting to tell me, but I got it out of him, this is what he said. "You're so beautiful. You're the one person I would never get over, and I would cry like a baby if anything ever happened to you. You are everything I want. I love you."
Another sweet, but strange conversation we had is, well, I "asked him to marry me" and he said okay. So now we're "engaged". Even though we don't date yet. ("yet" refers to a possibiliy)
We also picked out names for kids...it sounds funny, but I do like the names. Seth, for a guy. and Skyler(shortened Skye) for a girl.
Okay so that's some of the things about Josh, but that's only the beginning. Lindsey hasn't come in the story yet, and as almost everything I do involes around or has something to do with her, it should have been expected that she would come up.
So, I had been wondering and thinking for a while about mine and Lindsey's relationship, and thinking if possibly we should go on a break or something. Talking to Josh gave me a reason and a push. When I got the chance--and the will power--I talked to her about how she thought things were going between us, and she said she could see how things would be easier on me if we had something called an "open relationship". From my understanding, that's where you're still together technically, but you can go and do and talk and stuff without feeling guilty or restricted. And we decided we would try it. And now I'm in an open relationship. After 7 months....I'm in an open relationship. And those two words have been running through my mind non-stop for the past two weeks. I'm not sure if this is what I want. I'm not sure at all. And if it isn't, then I don't know what I DO want anyway. I don't know how I can tell. I like to think everything will be wonderful by the end of the day, but I'm beginning to wonder if anything will ever be right, even up until the very end. Sometimes I wish the end would come sooner rather than later. But that thought scares me, because it brings along with it another thought. After the end.......then what?